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"Instead of heavy duty try putting
yourself on the gentle cycle." Anonymous
February is the month we celebrate love. Of course, we're free to celebrate
love any month or day or
moment we choose, so we don't really need the
excuse (or pressure) of a special holiday to express our affection and
devotion to others!
In fact a healthy, loving relationship requires regular care and feeding - frequent expressions of our affection and devotion
through supportive words, acts of kindness and loving acceptance of the
less than perfect qualities in our loved ones. This is true of all our
relationships whether it be with a romantic partner, a child, other
family members, a pet, a dear friend or with ourselves.
In fact, the first step in creating healthy, loving relationships with
others is cultivating a kinder, more loving relationship with ourselves.
This can take some practice and some getting used to! I know I was
brought up to believe that self-care and self-love were self-indulgent and
something I really didn't have time for!
In a time of burn out, however, my perspective changed and I began to explore
the notion of "extreme self-care". We've had extreme sports, extreme makeovers, extreme ironing (one of
the funniest calendars I've seen!). But what would it mean to practice extreme self-care?
It's a very Self-honoring
approach to life. (Self has a capital "S" because, rather
than pure ego
gratification, it's really our higher Self, our soul, we are honoring).We could probably all come up with
some really wonderful ideas. I've listed my top 10 below that capture the essence of extreme self-care for me.
1) Trusting the wisdom of my body
--What is my body trying to tell me?
--How can I assist my body's healing?
--Am I feeding my body temple healthy, nourishing food?
--Am I getting regular physical exercise?
2) Taking a day off when I feel worn down
--Am I feeling upset, off-balance, and/or unwell?
--How will my downtime serve me?
--After all, who's the boss of me? Who's in charge of my well-being?
3) Making sure I regularly do things I love to do
--What do I love to do? (This is good to find out!)
--Am I doing things that feed my soul (e.g., hiking, getting a massage,
talking with a good friend, reading something inspirational, seeing a
great performance, taking a walk in the park, taking a nap, etc.)?
4) Spending time in silence, meditation, journaling
--How can I regularly make time for quiet reflection?
--What am I learning from my deepening self-awareness?
5) Laughing and celebrating life
--What can I let go of that I've been
taking too seriously?
--What do I appreciate about my life today?
--How can I celebrate my own and/or others' successes?
6) Setting healthy boundaries
--Where would it serve my higher good to say "no"?
--How can I simplify my life?
7) Practicing positive self-talk
--What do I appreciate about myself?
--Where can I forgive myself?
--How can I encourage myself in this challenging situation?
8) Getting under the covers
--Do I need to feel safe and comforted right now?
--Do I need a break from all the busyness of my daily life?
9) Trusting the Universe
--Where can I let go of my need to control?
--Where can I be more relaxed and trusting?
10) Living my life purpose
--Am I doing what I'm on this planet to do?
--Am I sharing my unique gifts?
--Does my life feel meaningful and fulfilling?
Feel free to come up with your own Self-honoring list! I invite you to
practice Self-loving and Self-care on a regular basis. From the overflow,
you can then share your loving generously and enthusiastically with
others.
Love and blessings,
Carol
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